Playground Antics

There was once a girl. She was always a bit in love with the idea of love. Being the lovely little awkward thing that she was growing up, she didn’t have the opportunity to really cultivate any pre-teen early life romances. She very specifically remembers a time in fourth grade when all the boys decided to chase the girls and smack them on the butt. This apparently sounded fun at the time and so off the girls ran to the side field and off the boys ran chasing after them. She remembers seeing all the boys chase after the popular girl and the second tier popular girls by association. She knew in her mind that even though she hung out with everyone in class and that she was generally liked by all, her glasses, knobby knees and general little girl awkwardness would prevent her from getting lots of smacks on the butt. But then her sorta friend and friend of the popular group, a soccer player and nice guy came up and smacked her on the bottom. She laughed and went screaming off on the sunny playground. Happy to feel included. In her 9 year old mind she knew that it was a pity butt smack but appreciated none the less.

One day the girl grew up. She got braces, contacts and by the middle of her college years at the very fun age of 21 she finally felt like she grew into her features. By the time she turned 24 she felt beautiful. She loved every aspect of her body, she felt very proud of her hips, her lips, her imperfections, her quirks. When she looked in the mirror on a sometimes rare day of extraordinary self awareness she felt alive, connected and gorgeous. She felt like she had a secret waiting to tell the world. Like a laugh was right under the surface waiting to come out. There was a light in her eyes and smile tickling her lips. Today was indeed a glorious and gorgeous day.

Maybe today was the day that a nice young guy would notice her. Notice that want and need to be included. To get a pity smack on the butt cause it was the nice thing to do. Cause it was appreciated, because why the hell not, she does after all have a very nice ass. Maybe today is the day that the guy she likes, that she shyly smiles at will notice her and smile back.

But, if not. That’s okay. Its an attention that she doesn’t need and if we’re being really honest here is kinda scary. She has come this far without the very well placed and intended smack on the butt from the boys on the playground. Shes happy just swinging on the swings with them, discussing her answer for the science question that gave her trouble, holding a door open for them, letting them have an occasion short cut in line to make one feel special. She happy being a friend. Its easy. Its comfortable. Its what she knows.

Maybe one day one of the boys will break away from the pack, from the marauding herds of boys on the playground. He will take a chance and single her out. He will come across the sandy playground, smile at her and she will smile back. And right when she is about to introduce herself he will very deliberately smack her firmly on the ass and run away waiting to be chased by her.

~hm~