Love is like the perfect song. You’re like the perfect song.

You’re asking if my love will grow. I don’t know. I don’t know.

I can’t live with or without you.

Nothing compares to you.

You’re so special, so fucking special.

Wait! They don’t love you like I love you.

I hope this song will guide you home.

I want to get my heart broken.

I’m talkin’ epic heart break. Feels like the world will end heart ache and hurt and sad and pain. Broken. Heart. Yup.

What a weird thing to say, no? But it’s true! I cannot tell a lie. Okay, that’s a lie. I very much can tell a lie. A very convincing lie. But I’m not lying right now. I really would LOVE to get my heart broken. Okay, maybe not today. Maybe tomorrow. Or in a week. Or twelve. Don’t really have a timeline for such things, but it sorta, kinda feels like it’s time for such things to happen to me. Cause I’d like to eventually move on from the whole angst and pity and despair and hurt of heartache and then I can fall in love and be all la-dee da hi I’m happy and in love, oh and marriage and babies and what have you.

Okay so maybe that’s a lie too. I don’t know if I want marriage and babies and what have you. But love. Sure. Sounds fun. They sure like to base ever single art form around it. So I guess it’s like a universal feeling of awesome.

So what’s brought on all this heartbreak talk? Well, I’ve actually thought that heartbreak would be a good thing to have for quite awhile now. I just think as an actress, writer, person that maybe, just maybe, it’d be a good life lesson-y thing or something.

Now don’t get me wrong, I think I’ve kinda had my heart…bruised. I guess that would be a good word for it. Bruised.

How I tend to think of love or being in love or the big I love you is that it’s like the PERFECT song. Like every single thing about this song is just so damn accurate. And you can’t believe your ears that you’ve never, ever heard this song before. Like how did you go this long with never having heard this song?! It’s quite preposterous that of all that possible moments you could have heard this song but didn’t, that now is the time you hear it. And you’re all giddy and happy and you have this secret and you can’t help but smile because this is your song. Just yours. Made just for you. It’s so AMAZING! And you’re like man, I’m the luckiest person alive. I get it. This is love.

That’s what love seems like it might be about. And see, me, I’m at the track name. I have the song title and there’s so much potential about what this wonderfully titled song could be about, I mean the possibilities are endless. You just happened to read this lovely little title and its like yay! Who knows what could happen?

So maybe I’ve listened to two whole songs. And one was like “ouch!” Burn. Suck. Man that kinda backfired. And just totally proved my point! I’m gonna be alone FOREVER! Or…err…I mean, damn that song sucked. And then like the other one was like hmm…take a chance, and was like whoa. Awesome! What?! Where did that come from?! That was random and awesome and yay! And then was like poof, bye!

Okay…so maybe love isn’t the song, but love is the album and life is-wait, no, life is the album and the tracks are the experiences and each song represents the stages of…Oh fuck it. I’m all metaphor-lost. Point is I’ve never been in love and want to get my heart broken. But really that’s a lie cause who wants their heart broken? Huh? A person who’s never had her heart broken that’s who. But I’m sure maybe that’s something that if you could avoid it you would, right? Or not. I don’t know. And I’m an insomniac again/forever/always. And listening to lots of songs on my iPod. And I saw Watchmen and Dr. Manhattan was all Laurie you’re a miracle cause of all the possible yous that could have been you, you’re really this you and this you is a miracle. And I was like awe cute.

The end.

PS-So there’s this rockawesome song I’ve been listening to lately…

~HM~